This Is Not a Democracy, It’s a Twittocracy

I just couldn’t resist this. I’ve recently read an article that advises the Twitter newbie (and probably expert too) how to “get retweeted” with 10 “twitterisms.” The author actually gives 12 quotes, but I suppose this is the charm of being a “tweeter” – twitting one thing and meaning another.

The terms and the contents of these 12 quotes reminded me of a quote from Bring It On: “this is not a democracy, it’s a cheerocracy.” Paraphrasing we could say the same about Twitter: “this is not a democracy, it’s a twittocracy.”

So I thought it might be a nice change to write a funny post today, and for every “twitterism” by Iconic88 to give you a “cheer.”

Iconic88	Bring It On – paraphrased
“Twitter sharing is Twitter caring”	Wait a minute, people tweeting… tweeters?
“As we grow as unique Tweople, we learn to respect the uniqueness of others.”	In tweeting we throw people into the air. And fat people don’t go as high.
“The really happy Tweeter is one who can enjoy the scenery when on a detour.”	I don’t know what’s scarier, neurotic tweeters or the pressure to win.
“Take only what you need and leave Twitter better than you found it.”	Where we come from, ‘tweet’ is not a word you hear very often…
“If you are building your Twitter stream and the dialogue breaks, do you stop building, or do you change the stream?”	OK, so I never tweeted before. So what? What about doing something that actually requires neurons?
“Let your Twitter love be like the misty rain; coming softly, but flooding the Twitter rivers.”	You were having twitt-sex with him!
“Twitter Knowledge is like a garden: if it is not shared, it cannot be harvested.”	You are tweeters. Tweeters are bloggers who have gone retarded.
“If you are on a Tweet to nowhere, find another Tweet.”	Well, look on the bright side – It’s only tweeting!
“Twitter faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark.”	Hey, ladies, wanna see my spirit stick?
“We make follows by what we get, but we grow a following by what we give.”	Follow me or perish, sweater monkeys!
“I have found that among Twitter’s other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.”	You are being a twitt-tator,Torrance, and a pain in my ass!
“Twitter happiness held is the seed; Twitter happiness shared is the flower”	Awesome, oh wow! Like, totally freak me out! I mean, right on!

Did you smile? Great! Are you a Twitter fan and you hate me right now? Even better – there must be some truth in my paraphrasing Bring It On in this particular case. It’s great to “promote” Twitter, to build a large Twitter community, but I don’t see how anyone in the world can actually follow and respond to over let’s say 500 members of a personal network. Following too many people: what good does it do, except boosted traffic to sites you try to promote? There’s obviously no dialogue with 3000 people, human attention simply cannot handle that much information. So where is the love? Where is the giving? What do you think? Any Twitter quotes to convince this non-believer that there is a dialogue possible between you and 3000 total strangers?