Santa on Crack Caught in Advertising Madness

Under the slogan “Santa’s Gone Centro”, Palm Inc comes to market with a new Palm Centro mobile device. Judging by the appearance of the actor used for the campaign we can safely assume that Santa’s gone mad. Actually, since the guy lost most of his jolliness over night, we could also presume that he has a terminal disease.

An agency called Creature (note the irony) created this Santa impersonator, but they called him Claüs. The dude, who could also be described as Santa on crack, walks around in a red suit, asking little children to stop calling him “Santa.” His name is now “Claüs.” By the way he fools around flirting with female dog owners he is also heading for a divorce.

Palm’s Centro is a desperate attempt to catch up with Apple’s iPhone, and the Claüs campaign, although brilliant in essence, has a more negative impact than a positive one. Undeniably, Palm caught our attention, but it’s done so by transforming a children’s icon into a disgusting decoy. Of course people are attracted by everything Xmasy, but did Santa really need a facelift and a change of name? Wasn’t the old, jolly Santa “hip” enough to use a Palm Centro device? How desperate for attention is a company to drench Santa in glam?

This new Santa, or Claüs as he likes to be called, has already more than 6500 fans on his Facebook profile (where else?).

He spreads his message through omnipresent Facebook applications – one encouraging users to tell Claüs whether other users were naughty or nice. Please don’t tell this guy I’ve been naughty. I don’t want to go through the trouble of getting a restraining order.

What other feelings would his Facebook profile inspire? Read below how he “introduces” himself to the world:

I functioned for centuries as a recluse, only emerging once a year under the cover of darkness to spread joy. I was feeling a little down. I spent all day staring out the window eating cookies.

But that all changed when I received a mysterious gift – a new Palm Centro. That was the moment when Santa became Claüs. The phone inspired me to turn my life around, I got in shape, found a new tailor, it’s like I feel 30 years younger.

My operation is so streamlined now, I finally have time to get out and meet the world. If you see me around town walking my reindeer, courtside at the Lakers game, or distributing holiday cheer at my mistletoe shop don’t be afraid to stop me and tell me your holiday wish. But don’t try and sit on my lap, a fist bump will do.

I know: it’s me, lacking a sense of humor. But then again, some common sense should make anyone reading this text wonder:

How can a recluse emerge to spread joy anyway?

What kind of a mental retard changes his whole way of life just because someone gives him a cheap mobile phone? I mean, if the gift was “mysterious” I only see here a conspiracy against the old Santa – someone planned to transform him into a despicable so called “upgraded” entity. Claüs looks as appealing as Dumb and Dummer.

Another question: is the tailor using a Palm Centro too? That explains a lot.

What are 30 years less in the life of someone who’s been around for hundreds of years already?
Doesn’t Claüs realize that if anyone sees him around walking a reindeer, they might as well call at the asylum – to send someone who knows how to deal with a nut case?

Last, but not least: was that “don’t try and sit on my lap” really necessary? By the way this Santa looks we wouldn’t even dare. Honestly… who wants to catch what this dude has?

Related posts from the blogosphere:

How the Palm Centro Helped Santa Claus Get His Groove Back
Santa Claus Got a Gastric Bypass
Santa’s gone Centro
Palm Centro finds a way to ruin Christmas
Liposuction For Santa – A Facebook Facelift
Claus – Not funny, Palm Centro
Palm releases new Holiday Centro ad campaign
Only On The Internet: Santa Gets a Makeover